Favourite Quotes

It is a great ability to be able to conceal one's ability.
Ability will never catch up with the demand for it.
All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsion, habit, reason, passion, and desire.
The superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions.
Words without actions are the assassins of idealism.
Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.
The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.
You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing.
The young have aspirations that never come to pass, the old have reminiscences of what never happened.
We rarely think people have good sense unless they agree with us.
The thing that impresses me the most about America is the way parents obey their children.
America is a country that doesn't know where it is going but is determined to set a speed record getting there.
Americans are benevolently ignorant about Canada, while Canadians are malevolently well informed about the United States.
Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.
If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages.
Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.
Never judge a book by its movie.
The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animal.
Drive thy business or it will drive thee.
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
A celebrity is one who is known to many persons he is glad he doesn't know.
Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question.
Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
Never have children, only grandchildren.
The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.
You can't say that civilization don't advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way.
Committee--a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.